When I write, the most amazing intimate thing happens. I allow people into my mind to share my thoughts. I allow people onto my heart share my feelings. I let people see my soul some even touch it. Though one of my greatest moments at times its my weakest point.
Writing was a pivotal moment in my life. It changed my outlook. It allowed me to vent out. Gave my anger a channel. Every stroke of the pen every tap of the keyboard containing a fragment of emotion and the full embodiment of passion. Because writing is my element. Writing is my life. Writing is my love. A love of a lifetime.
This commitment runs deep, deeper than any connection I have ever felt in my life. I am not exaggerating. It is for this reason that only the closest to me and like minded individuals have been invited into this world. I admit along the way I’ve given invites that have been turned down. People that just didn’t find the time to ‘check me out’ or were too entitled to even think about it. It may sound petty but its actually not. When I expose myself to a fellow human being I expect appreciation or at its worst criticism. Plain ignorance well.. Here’s something about that.. It hurts. It carries the pain of a thousand poisoned thorns piercing the heart and slowly leaking into the blood stream giving me th pleasure a thousand deaths in one thousand slow blows.
But who am I? I am merely human. Sometimes though I wish I was a better judge of character. Because rejection is the one thing in life I haven’t learnt to deal with. The sad part is that I may never learn and the saddest part is I dont want to learn.
I’ve heard the flimsiest excuses from people I thought were ‘worthy’ and I’d actually bring myself to believe them. Day after day I’d push them hanging onto hope that I was wrong. But as sure as daylight they just weren’t interested.
So, what is this you ask. This is an appreciation to all those that took their time to ‘know’ me. All those that accepted me in my most vulnerable form and loved me it has been one hell of a ride.
The rest, even though you may never come across this well this is farewell. Not just the kind that we’ll see each other some day. But forever.
Above all… It aint a thing