Light headed

Its just a matter of time before Kenya’s sympathy parade is out blowing their trumpets, beating their drums, starting Facebook pages,and ‘raising funds’ for one not so social socialite.

Then there is people like me… The ‘I told you soers’ – keep in mind the fact that we do not know her/him personally (I could be talking about anyone any conclusions you make are solely yours)

Kenyans were shocked when one fine day some socialite – emphasis on the light appears in the public realm apparently lighter than they usually were. This was every girls dream – well not every but had this socialite discovered real life instagram filters?? The Internet almost broke due to the sheer weight of people weighing in their ideas, rumors, approval,disapproval, admiration etc etc bleached

Suddenly for all the girls trapped in dark bodies there was light at the end of the tunnel – all puns intended

Attention must be some really addictive drug that must have somehow escaped my teens. But she/he could not get enough of it and she jumped from dealer to dealer. At one point she landed on Kenyas most lucrative attention dealer Larry Madawa (again all this is fictional any similarities are purely coincidental)

Given a national audience she strutted her stuff (literally) and explained how to get real life dabo taps you need to splash 50 million jommos all this like it was nothing.

I dont know about you but for 50 emz you could sell me your troubles and that of your nagging better half and I’d be happy crying in that range rover all day long.

So anyway the high must have worn off because she went into withdrawal. Junkies know this is the worst so like any other addicted poor soul she/he chased the next high. An untinted vehicle now came back with halogen lamps and a brand new dashboard complete with state of the art sat nav that guided all red blooded males eyes towards those redunkulous hob nobs.

Once again… The internet broke. A few people admiring – me one of them. A few more perplexed – me one of them. Some just watching from a distance without batting an eyelid – me one of them.

Jokes were made… Some insinuated that her new parts came with warranties others said the body got more work done than he/she would ever do in an office the list is endless.

So now fast-forward and here I am in my leso rumor mongering… Leaked pics show some ashy skin got someone looking like they got into a fight with a bag of flour and lost.

Wish you had that warranty now huh? Well the good news is for someone with 50 emz you can graft some skin and continue looking dapper the sad news is there isn’t a procedure yet where you can graft some brains. Call me when they figure this out I’ll gladly be a donor.

Shad off the Rack



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