The Originals: What I hear


My fellow Kenyans, we are not one. In fact ‘we’ is the select few. The select few who own large tracts of lands, ride in big fuel guzzling German automobiles and have a bank account balance that well, can balance out your problems and elevate your status so high it might be arrested for consumption of illegal narcotics.

I am, first and foremost a liar. Lying is a major part of what I do, I am not in your service. Let’s be honest fellow Kenyans; have you ever seen a servant who earns more than the master? You are the servants! You serve me and my friends, you toil day and night to eck a living but at the end of the day you work for me.

I already said we are liars, so what did you expect? Do you still believe in nation building? Ata Kama utapaka rangi. Who is the nation? Us? Wrong again how could you be so foolish, ignorant and naive? The nation is me. You are building my families future. 
What about your family? I don’t care – I never have. Remember me saying something about been a liar? Good. I want to set a few things straight. Your vote does count. Well, it counts for how easily you are manipulated. Just because we are descendants of the same land and our surnames ooze the greatness of our region does not mean we are brothers. You are foolish if you thought otherwise. My brother is on a flight right now – business class eating caviar and sipping champagne. Can you spell champagne? Blame it on the education I promised- attending international conferences and sealing deals on behalf of the country.

Sorry… On behalf of the family. 


Your problems remain your problems. The only thing that changes is if and ever you were to meet me, we would discuss your problems in the same mother tongue. That is all. You are blind to the truth, even of it hit you in the face with a large banner – larger than my lands – written TRUTH.


Why? I don’t know. No I don’t want to change it because my dear Kenyan’s I feed off it. I grow because of your ignorance. 

You see the opposition? We are not enemies we are just putting a show for you. A show that you so much love because your tiny minds are hopelessly clinging onto the nonsensical idea of change. What change? That guy is a very good friend.When the cameras are’nt rolling and the microphones are off, we converse and share ideas on how to dupe you some more over a game of golf in some exclusive resort you haven’t heard of because it’s name cannot be uttered in the presence of a poor man’s ears.
You remember how I came to your hometown? Bought your school a bus, furnished your hospitals, and built dormitories for your girls? Remember? They were all donations from Mr Opposition. But please go ahead and applaud me. As if it wasn’t already part of my job description
A few of you have seen the truth but are as complacent with it as a toddler is with a mother’s drying tit. A few have demonstrated and we have taken care of it. ‘utumishi kwa wote’ Hahahaha this was clever. See the irony?
So anyway my time is up. I have been told that I need to attend a business meeting to see just how I can raise inflation in the country, lower GDP and increase my profits from the resulting high prices. You can now walk home chanting my name and waving my party colors – we call it a party because it is a celebration for us… What are you
celebrating? Poverty

Meanwhile I will enjoy a helicopter ride chilling with a glass of bourbon so expensive your wife would buy a piece of land,
build a house and leave you for another man as you get drunk and fail to perform your manly duties.

Good bye and asanteni.




One thought on “The Originals: What I hear

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: