What is your name?

You have been a gentleman all night. You bought the drinks and recommended a Carbanet Sauvignon – you don’t know the exact year but you do know it has a deep musky taste. You steered her clear off the guarana road and the king fisher alley. You bought her some Bolognese lasagna and told her how it pairs well with that specific selection of wine. You did not talk about yourself but you let her pour into details about her life. Now you know that the beige dress she is wearing was her second option. Lizzie her long time friend “borrowed” her favorite LBD. You don’t know what LBD is or what it stands for but you don’t ask. It’s little black dress by the way just in case you thought that was the name of some ruling party in a girls world – who knew the internet would feminize me. You ignore the fact that her English is lacking and her sentences wouldn’t pass for a standard 2 ten sentence essay on loving your mother. You ignore all that and the fact that she slurps her wine like those old kuyo grandma’s in Nyahururu. Her smile is infectious and her charm is natural. You just wish she would stop trying to impress you and be herself. You can see that the weave is fresh – thank God. She has on a little pair of silver earrings that sit pretty on her small rounded ears.

It’s time to leave the warm restaurant. The acoustic jazz that sound tracked your conversation begins to fade as you walk down the stairs into the lobby. The hostess at the entrance smiles and enquires if you enjoyed your evening. You do not hesitate to tell her you both did in fact you use the word thoroughly. You wonder if she, your date, could pronounce the word but brush the thought away before you gag on your laughter. That was a mean thought so you hold the door open for her in penance. The wind blows smoothly into her hair and she feels the breeze bite into her skin. Pulling her scarf tightly around her neck she puts her arms around herself and a shudder escapes. From behind you notice her lithe body, she looks like a delicate petal in the wind. You take off your coat and put it around her with your arm over her waist and direct her towards the parking lot. You wonder if she has ever met your friend before – the one who lent you a car. You tell her about him, vaguely though, she likes the idea of him. You point out that the car is his and that he must be pretty worried wondering if you’d scratch it and she laughs. She says if you treat the car like you treat her it would be fine. Maybe it was a hint or maybe the Sauvignon was taking effect. God bless those deep red berries.

You open the door for her and watch as she gets in. You head over to the driver’s side and enter slamming the door shut. You rub your hands in two quick motions and start the engine. She asks if you are cold and you say not for long. She smiles probably tagging a naughty connotation to your statement. You crank up the A/C and notice that she frowns. The idea lingers in your mind for a second maybe two but you look straight ahead as you kick the machine into reverse. You had met at the restaurant so you were alone when driving there. You forgot that you listen to vulgar hip hop and as the engine goes on the word BITCH blares out of the stereo as the sub lets out the bass. You profusely apologize and blame your friend’s music taste as you turn it off. You cannot see her face because the car is dark but she is intently staring at the road. You wonder what she is thinking but you don’t for long because she speaks out. She asks what you like about her. It is random and abrupt and now her face is turned to you. Thank God you are driving so you can avoid that intent stare. You chuckle as you try and find the words. You met off social media and you really know nothing much about her to like. You can’t point this out though because the fate of the whole evening lies on your response. You cough or rather fake a cough and ask what’s not there to like. You point out her charming smile, her round little ears and good conversation skills. You don’t mention the little quirks like the grammar and the wine slurping. Not everyone is perfect and you of all people understand this.

There is silence in the car and you realize that you don’t know her second name. How could you forget to ask her for her second name? You try to figure out how to ask without seeming tribally inclined. You curse social media for all its blind spots. You shift uneasily in the car seat she looks at you but dismisses it as a driver trying to sit comfortably. Then you notice her legs, her dress inched up and her thighs are a nice silhouette from the passing lights. You let out a low sigh. You didn’t want the evening to take that turn of events. Then it hits you that you’ve been driving to your place. It was pure instinct nothing intentional but you don’t even know where she stays. Yes you know what they call it but you don’t know where it is. So you ask her where you should drop her off and she gives you a look. Her eyes ask you if you are fucking serious and they give you a chance to rectify your mistake. She says anywhere is fine but prefers the CBD. You wonder why she just wouldn’t say the CBD. Why did she have to say anywhere then say the CBD? You silently cuss. But you’re not angry at her you’re angry at yourself. You wasted the one chance you had to get her to your place. You lie to yourself that you’re a gentleman whose carnal desires are tame. You lie to yourself that not even for one moment did you want to watch the dress slip off her body. You lie that you did not want to grab her by the waist and plant a kiss on her lips. You lie that you didn’t imagine she had on black lingerie that you would slip off with bated breath. You lie that you didn’t imagine being engulfed by the scent of her womanhood. You lie even more that you imagined she had dabbed a little bit f perfume just to get your heart racing. You lie until you get to the CBD. You can’t open the door for her here and as she steps out you stop her. She waits for you to save the moment and take her home. You ask her what her second name is. Her eyes tell it all she is disappointed angry even. She will have to take a cold shower alone to calm her nerves and possibly throbbing nethers. She whispers her name. It is a silent whisper that is blown by the wind. The kind of whisper that says you blew it idiot you will never see me again.

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