No sir, NO PRO BONO!

I don’t know if I’m enraged, amused or just shocked. Maybe it is a combination of the three. Picture yourself walking into a brothel, not the cheap ones where you could probably get yourself serviced for 150 shillings with 100 shillings paid out as airtime. No, a classy brothel one that’s set in a leafy suburb and probably functions as a massage spa. The kind you drive into and can’t park your Japanese salon car next to the gleaming German S.U.V that’s taunting you. Yes that kind of brothel, where you can’t call them hookers because they are professional escorts. They escort you from your miserable mundane sex life into a robust world where you set your groins on fire. That is the type of brothel I want you to imagine.

Now imagine walking in, an inexperienced virgin looking to go out with a bang. You find the one that best suits your needs, not too endowed lest you bust a nut before you even start and not too beautiful to be intimidating. She’s just right so you go up to the rooms and before you get down to business – because this is business, you reveal that this is your first time. She asks you if it is your first time seeking professional escort services, but you nod in the negatory and say it is the first time you will be filled with the warmth of a woman. She smiles to herself, honored that you would choose her among all the other harlots – she isn’t very popular she reveals and you don’t know if that is a bad thing because she is less experienced or a good thing because she is less experienced. Being your first time you are a little wet behind the ears but she assures you it’s going to be alright. She tells you that once she is done you’ll be an old sport.

Everything is going as planned until she takes of her bra and you’re staring at those magnificent bumps then you blurt out that being your first time you are not willing to pay for the experience. She looks at you with that “you must be joking right?” kind of face but you keep your face straight and look past her naked chest right at the drawn curtains. She realizes that this is not a joke and she puts on her clothes cussing at how you had the nerve to even get her into the room with no intentions of paying for her services. She feels embarrassed too; maybe you picked her because she looked like an easy sell. In her profession this is not a good thing she needs to be able to drive a hard bargain and make a profit using her skills as her testimonials. Congratulations you just managed to lower the self-esteem on a hooker. I didn’t even know it could go any lower. They go down for a living, their pants have seen the floor more times than their feet and yet here you are. Wouldn’t it have been easier to go find a girl and feed her with sweet nothing and the promise of a future love life that is beyond her wildest imaginations?

This is the same feeling a writer has when you undermine their skill. How on God’s green earth do you approach a writer and tell them you want them to write for you for free? I mean it is okay if you are asking your friend, relative and even your ex girl/boyfriend they might owe you a few favors. But outsourcing a writer, who you know has the skills you need, and trying to make them write for free is beyond me.  Okay, so your venture might be new I understand, but on a professional level I don’t owe you anything and to feel entitled to taking a piggy back on my talent is uncalled for and out rightly wrong.  I mean some of us would do it for the experience and exposure but you are new so there really is nothing you are bringing to the table.

Asking me to just do it out of the goodness of my heart would e stretching things far. We all know how such stories go – you write for free and when the company takes off you’re let go because you’re just another expense that’s leeching on their new found profits. I mean at least offer a contract that states when the company takes off you’re assured of a position, or even shares in the damn thing itself, something that gives a writer purpose to wake up and scour for information they can use to develop your company. Make it such that they have much to lose if they do not put in 110% not just look for pity writers. We are in a time and age where talent is taking center stage in the world. People are more and more realizing the power of their skills and with it the value it brings. So no sir, no probono


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