What instrument do you play? Ummmh, I play around with the piano.
As expected, most would go for the piano. She doesn’t even play it but plays around with it – it is all in the detail. I’d then put on a sly smile and slowly whisper, I play the saxophone. Now, I’d whisper because when you slowly say saxophone she might here sex and phone – it subtly plants a seed in her head, a risqué one and you’re not out of the running yet gauging on her initial response. You’d go on ahead to say how you listened to Kenny G growing up. You don’t even look old so she’ll wonder how on earth you developed an ear for Kenny G. You’ll leave that hanging, a little mystery never hurt nobody.
So, what’s your favorite Kenny G song? She’ll ask. You know you’ve waited for this moment and you pause for effect, like you’re going through a whole library of songs trying to find the one that’s perfect. You will mmmh then aaaah and finally light up like it just hit you. You will smile because the song brings back memories (or at least that’s what you want to make it look like) and watch as she impatiently waits for an answer with a smile lingering at the corner of her mouth. She is both intrigued and amused at the same time. It has to be Don’t make me wait for love, you say. She’ll take a moment to ponder and wonder if she’s ever heard the song play. She clubs or looks like she does so her knowledge on dancehall, urban hip hop and kwaito will definitely fail her. She will then reach deeper or act pretentious and say, Oh yeah, I heard that song at my best friend’s wedding it’s lovely. She saved the moment – Kenny G is big on weddings even with the recent Sauti Sol craze.
So you’ll invite her to some jazz event where you’ll be doing a cover of “Don’t make me wait for love” and exchange cards. I think that if I played the saxophone I’d have a card – there’s an air of sophistication around it, so yes we will exchange cards. If she doesn’t have one I’ll put it on her to be the one to call – this way you’re sure if she’s interested or not. You will go home listening to Drum Line by Boney James with the car stereo finely tuned to bring out the wonderful acoustics. Your phone hooked to the Bluetooth system will ding, briefly interrupting the music. A message icon pops up and you look at the infotainment system – yes, I think a jazz player would have a car with an infotainment system and a crazy ass security system too lest the gold plated saxophone gets stolen. It would be her, let’s call her Sherrie (that sounds like the name of someone that would enjoy jazz right?) she’s on her way home and she just wanted you to have her number – not so subtle but then again now subtleness can go out the window. You’re driving so you won’t reply; after all you play the saxophone so all the unruliness will be left to the drumist and the bass player of a metal rock band.
You finally set a date to meet for a jazz event, one where you’ll be playing and you make sure the band will play Don’t make me wait for love. The evening would be calm and you will work our charm on that saxophone belting out heavenly sounds. Each time the lead sings “Baby, don’t make me wait for love this time Oh, oh, darlin’ a love like this is hard to find, ooh, baby Baby, don’t make me wait for love this time, I need you, baby I love you, I need you, I want you, baby” you will look at Sherrie and then go ahead to give what might as well be the best saxophone solo in the world till you see her blush. Afterwards over drinks, whiskey specifically – because jazz screams sophistication so a drink to match would be a whiskey, single malt, old and expensive as fuck she’ll tell you how she liked your performance. That thing you did at the end was amaaaaazing, she’ll say as she slightly rubs against your shoulder. You will smile she will smile and at the end of the night you will kiss her, on the lips. She will never forget the kiss because you play the saxophone so you know your lips know how to work it the feeling will linger ad she’ll wonder how it would feel if your lips planted their expertise on different parts of her body. The thought will send a volt of electricity down her spine and that ladies and gentlemen would be an encore to your electric performance – get it?
You would then make things official two weeks later and date for months stretching over two years. You will feel the time is right and plan the perfect proposal involving jazz of course and her favorite flowers which are lilies by the way – white. You will do a special rendition of “Don’t make me wait for love” and when people ask how you met you will mmmh and aaaah then light up from all the memories and look at her, smile and say; well I asked her if she played any instruments.