There are a few perks to dating a woman who aims to understand the nature of gender inequality. Okay that’s what Wikipedia defines feminism as. The term has evolved and any lady nowadays who owns a car and can cut off a Kayole mini bus in traffic on Jogoo road amidst the loud hooting and tirade of insults is a Feminist. Adding on to the list apparently being single too qualifies you as a feminist – next time Beyonce’s song plays in the club take note of all the girls with their hands in the air and date them (if they let you). I also read an article on the line (remember The Internship?) that a feminist has dreadlocks, bears only her African Names and wears Ankara prints. I don’t know how true that is because I have a friend that fits the description and they are male so I’m not really sure on the validity of the check list.
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle” Gloria Steinem. See what I mean? As a man your role is considered irrelevant in a feminist’s life. This is no way a bad thing especially if you are young and not looking to settle. This is the proverbial having your cake and eating it too. So here are my reasons why you should date a feminist.
- She has dreadlocks
If the cliché turns out to be true you will not get the usual “babe I am in the saloon” text. No way. You will get much… much more DSTV would be jealous. You’d get the “Hi, I am sorry but today I am quite busy. I have to attend the Pan – African conference on women empowerment and thereafter we will have a gala dinner.” Now the gala dinner is code for girl’s night out but they don’t see the need to label so it will just be a night out.
Oh, yes dreadlocks, my point is less saloon visits and this means she’s less tempted to ask you for ‘pesa ya salon’ which goes against the feminists bible anyway.
- Chivalry is dead and is resting in peace
Oh, yes my main man Mr Chivalry is resting in peace. Don’t hold doors open lest she feels inferior. Don’t pull out chairs lest you have one put up behind your rear end, don’t pull out period (what you think she can’t raise a kid?) For car doors the only opening you will do is push the button on the alarm thingie if and only if she cannot use her car. Otherwise she’ll use a cab and you can use a mat and save a butt load on fuel.
- Anything you can do she can do better
This works especially for dates. No more buying expensive wine for the lady. She will have a beer just like you because it is not the preserve of men. Heck, it’s not even a date it’s a just a night out drinking. She’ll buy as many rounds as you if not more. She’ll try and make a fool out of you and you’ll let her. You will go and do stupid things with other women in the club and in the morning praise her beer drinking prowess. Throw in the ‘tell me your secret. How do you drink that much and keep it together?’ caress her ego and watch as yesterday’s misdemeanors vaporize into thin air like her English name.
- Doesn’t nag
Remember, they don’t need men. She’ll change light bulbs, change her tire, install an anti-virus on her laptop, re-wire the sound system, mount the television onto the wall, and wear female condoms. She’s busy making the world a better place for women so you’ll rarely have to use the “I’m busy” excuse. You’ll text her when you text her and she will take the same approach.
You’ll never get home to find her making herself comfortable. She’ll be at her place waiting for you. Actually she’s never been to your place. You either meet at a mutual rendezvous or you take yourself to her place. This means if things go awry she’d never know where to find you.
- You can cheat
Yes, you can cheat. She won’t see it as you cheating but as a fellow woman liberating herself from society’s chains of oppression. Who said it is okay for men to have affairs with women in relationships? No one! But society has played the blind eye to it. Heck, a woman doing it is right up the feminism alley. She will support that broad and give her extra pointers on just how to get you off. She will buy her gifts so you don’t have to and even create a what’s app group so you can all share your experiences.
I don’t know about you but I might get me a feminist.
P.S this was just for laughs… treat women with respect.