Have you ever heard the term it takes two to tango?
You meet in a lecture hall. She’s carrying her books close to her chest her long hair flows down to her shoulders. You notice her long curvy legs in her tight black jeans and her swaying hips as she walks to the front of the class. You smile at her and she ignores you, perhaps she didn’t see it you think. The lecturer drones for three hours straight. You were half asleep and you have the signature, pulse machine looking notes to prove. You miss the bit about having an assessment test in the next class until you hear someone murmur under their breath. You think it’s the perfect time to talk to her and ask for her notes – after all girls write the best notes you reason.
At first she’s reluctant and eyes you suspiciously. You’re the guy in jeans and a t-shirt and Nike sneakers. You look straight off the cover of source magazine. You’re someone she knows she should keep off. But you’re surprisingly polite something she didn’t expect, you don’t have that ‘hey shawty’ air hanging about you. Your English is polished and your words bespoke. So she doesn’t write you off, yet. She hands you her book, it’s covered you notice, you wonder who still does that and giggle at the memory of your class two teacher that’d screech like a cat at unkempt books and their owners. Her writing is neat as you expected and the two of you walk to the shopping center to copy the notes. The walk there is more fruitful, she tells you her name and you don’t hesitate to compliment its beauty – something along the lines that it matches her face. She laughs at the cliché but let’s face it girls love cliché.
A few weeks down the line and you have a girlfriend. She’s everything you could have ever wanted – at your age. She’s beautiful, smart, caring and makes interesting conversation. Your dressing has changed too, from the cover of source magazine to the front page of the Business daily. Yes, she’s made you better and the love seems to flourish. Your days are spent between class, dates and your rooms. She’s passionate and isn’t afraid to show it. She whispers into your ears all the sweet nothings that stroke a man’s ego and you do not hesitate to confess your love for her. Exams come and go and you pass thanks to her notes. To celebrate you buy a bottle of wine and cook her dinner. It’s almost time to go home and she lives far. You hate that she has to go away. She promises to keep in touch and you spend the night together. The semester ends and you head home. It’s a three month holiday you have a lot of time.
As promised she kept in touch, you texted everyday without fail. A month into the holiday she gets distant. She’s not her self, moody and withdrawn. You probe into the issue, well, because you love her right? She asks you the same
‘Do you love me?’
You don’t hesitate to put her qualms to rest and your response is in the affirmative. You say how there’s no one else in this life perfect for you. She smiles, you hear it though you don’t see it and she calms down. She’s back to herself and says she can’t wait to see you. A few weeks later she calls sounding distraught. She doesn’t mince her words she goes straight to the point
‘Babe, we’re pregnant’
You hear a tinge of excitement in her voice, you wonder why she’s excited as rage fills up your veins and your blood boils. But how can you blame her? She knows your love is true and probably thinks this was going to be a new chapter in your life together. She’s also confused because she has an education to consider and a family that might likely disown her. She has more to lose – your belly won’t fill up in the coming months, your back won’t ache, your feet won’t swell, you won’t bear the mark of shame, you won’t wake up to the morning sickness and your moods will remain the same. You comfort her at first and assure her all will be okay. You love her after all. She’s happy. Over the next few days you brood over her pregnancy and decide you don’t want anything to do with it – you call her and ask her to terminate it. She’s devastated you sound harsh and distant. She wonders what happened and when she asks, you’re rude. She cries for days and has no one to talk to until one day you show up – schools reopened and you break up with her.
She wonders what happened to the love. She hates you and herself even more. She doesn’t know what to do. Hers is not simply a decision of right and wrong. You were supposed to be there. Like you were when you undressed her, kissed her, caressed her, aroused her and made love to her. She didn’t get pregnant alone it took two. But you’re a coward and now she sees it. She knows you’ll tell all your friends – she will notice how differently they look at her when she enters class. They will wait to notice the bulge or its resounding absence. They will label her a farm tool and consider her blemished. She will wonder what went wrong and she will blame herself. She will need a friend some are lucky enough to have them but she might not be.
You have a protected instagram account but won’t protect the girl you claim to love? You’ll run as soon as shit hits the fan? Yet you confidently say you’re a man?
Remember it takes two tango – so it’s not her problem because she’s not pregnant you are!