Dear Dr Rapist

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There’s an intimacy to baring it all. You don’t just bare it all to anyone not even your mother. At some point it got uncomfortable having her accompany you to the shower. You didn’t want her in the room as you changed and you thrived in this new found independence. To bare it all before someone, being naked, takes a lot of trust.

We laughed and cracked jokes when the ‘mollis’ audio did its rounds on social media. We praised the man for his prowess and even vilified the woman for accepting advances then later on withdrawing consent – even though she was well within her rights to do that. But that passed, just like any other storm. In this digital world it could’ve been a staged act, a popularity stunt, only it got the wrong kind of reception and no one in their right minds would own up to it – so much for being ‘the man’.

But now we’re here again. This time it’s a  doctor or a so called doctor. One with political affiliations who has had praises sung in his name for offering affordable health care to the poor.  He raped a patient and it was caught on video.

When I go to a doctor I share details about my life, personal details I wouldn’t volunteer to anyone else. These are details pertaining to my health and lifestyle. Here you’d tell your doctor how much you drink, how many packs you smoke, the last time you had sex and whether you used protection or not, and other personal details. Your doctor is the priest for your body – consultations act like confession rooms. You do this knowing it’s confidential and that they live by a code of ethics. You’d never at one point imagine a doctor calling up your wife  or mother or friends telling them your deepest of secrets without your consent. They can only do this when you’re dead. That’s okay at least you’re not answerable to anyone then.

I believe this relationship is deeper when it’s a woman. Women are very conscious about their body. Every crease and fold, each additional pound added on, the shade of the skin under their eyes, that pimple on her left breast that scares the hell out of her – you get the point. For a woman to go to a hospital and seek to see a gynaecologist she has taken a leap of faith least to say. Despite the number of times she’s engaged in coital relationships, visiting a gynaecologist isn’t the same. This isn’t some chap who gets her knickers wet or boils her blood with his deep voice and gentle touches. This isn’t that guy at the bar that bought her a few rounds and took her home thanks to a sly tongue and raunchy dance moves. This is her doctor and she expects, no, demands professionalism. She won’t tell that guy that took her home that she experiences discomfort when she pees, heck he might be the reason. So when she goes to a gynaecologist there’s nothing sexual about it. Thee’s no romance, there’s no passion fueled ecstasy it’s just a woman and a doctor.

Imagine her discomfort when she gets to a gynaecologist and it’s a man. Chances are she might have access to a good insurance policy and have the ability to visit an expensive hospital where she can demand for a female gynaecologist – if it makes her more comfortable. But what if she’s not as lucky? What if she’s on the lower end of the economic pyramid? She’ll have to make do. She’ll trust that the doctor is a professional and  swallow her pride baring it all for him. She will not question why she needs a sedative, she will believe that he knows what he is doing. But what happens when she wakes up and feels violated? A woman knows – she knows that’s not the feel of a cold metal instrument that was used to probe she knows that her body was violated. She feels him on her skin and she shivers with fear and trembles with disgust. Who will she turn to? Who will believe her? After all she’s the poor woman that went to a respectable doctor. People tend to believe doctors not a poor woman, a woman without a voice. She’ll be asked why she didn’t go elsewhere and her poverty won’t be an excuse. Just like  that she’s to blame yet she’s the victim.

It’s not enough that we live in a country where the weak are preyed upon by their guardians. It’s not enough that our education is something leaders gamble with. Now health care has become a joke. Dr Rapist this is for you. You are not a hero, you are not a role model. You are not a man, don’t let the stream of supporters on your social media fool you. You are a coward and a criminal. You are a disgrace to the society, your mother and the country. You hide behind the veils of power but your time is coming.

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