Doreen Saringi: This is University [GUEST POST]

Welcome to university where effort is not always proportional to success. You can get your distinctions by playing cards nicely. If you are a lady, you are eighty percent lucky because eighty percent university lecturers are sexually hungry pot bellied men with grey and graying hairs. Their wives got into menopause about three years after you were born and these men retired them. Since then, they have been surviving on sex from campus girls. Never mind about their wives, they are just women and in this part of the world, a woman must retire from sex at a certain age. This is a fact that is not written anywhere, but ask everyone if their grandmother is having sex and their jaws will drop with embarrassment.

Brown girls with long artificial hairs, long fake nails, purple or pink lips and a little self esteem are better placed than other girls, who are in turn better placed than their male counterparts. These little yellow things can easily get their distinctions, the only thing they need to do is drop their panties and spread their thighs for these gukas whose gray nether hairs have formed dreadlocks from lack of shaving. They only need to endure the vitambis and they will be sorted. One little problem is one day, the old man may die inside. He will die of heart attack because of the Viagra. You will be screaming; because you are used to not because you are having pleasure, then the thing will just become flaccid, you open your eyes and find his eyes open, unmoving. The Viagra did it not you. But you may need to explain. You will be questioned by his wife who is old enough to be your grandmother. She will not be gentle with you, she will not behave the way grandmothers do, she will talk to you like an angry co-wife. Then, you will realize for the first time that it was very stupid sleeping with someone’s grandfather. His daughters will insult you. They will swear to investigate the matter and have you rot in hell(read jail). But you did not kill him, it is Viagra. Pray that a post mortem is done. That is the only way you will know peace, the only way you will buy your pardon.

Guys you can buy success, but you will need an abnormally large amount, this niggas have seen more money than you are willing to offer, and so you will need a bigger amount, their mustache can only be oiled with larger sums, not pennies, they don’t take fifties, after all, they are not traffic police, they are doctors and professors.

Guys, if the professor sees your girl, sullenda, and run, do not be stupid in the name of love, you cannot sacrifice your degree for her. This is a world for them, you do not argue, you back off, and get yourself a girl who will not be seen by the professor, a girl from the village, they are equally beautiful, plus they cook and wash, and they never scream during sex, they are the kind you can have her over and there will be no need to exile your room mate.

These are the times, nobody cares about morality, people want to be laid and they will make it happen, and the victims are campus girls, girls who are younger than their youngest granddaughters. But sometimes as a student you must play on, coz we all desire to finish with good grades, we want to walk away get jobs and live lives like people who went to school. This is what university offers, take it or jump in front of a speeding Mercedes.


Doreen Saringi is a medical student. She has probably seen more blood than the ancestors have during sacred rituals. I don’t know why she does it. Compassion maybe. She’s seen things in her tenure as a student. Thing she can’t unsee. Here is her Bio:



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