Time of the month [Guest Post]

Imagine it’s end month and some employees receive their salaries, we too of the female gender get to receive ours as well. It’s that time of the month when our uterus pays us for being loyal to it.

Well, it’s not a definite due. Depends on how well you maintained your loyalty throughout the month. I still remember how much I cried when I first had my menstrual cycle. I ran to my big sister, scared, thinking my intestines had ruptured.  Everyone has their first encounter. 

Monthly periods are no joke.. Don’t joke with a woman who’s on those special days . After she lays an egg and there’s no viable sperm to ‘say hello ‘, the egg breaks down and the thickened lining of the uterus is shed as menstruation. In my first language, we put a little bit of swag and call it ‘mashiro’.

She then experiences abdominal pains better known as cramps. Cramping is person specific. Not everyone gets them but for some it  gets mildly or severely painful. Breasts becomes tender. Others bloat while others go to an extent of having diarrhea.

Tantrums and mood swings then set in, uninvited. This is the time you text your girl; Hey, how was the shower? And she replies “Good. I washed off all your lies “. Worse still, she won’t reply all day making you “eat ” them blue ticks on whatsapp. And you will be left wondering what just happened while you two were good minutes ago. Mood swings.

Dear men, don’t blame her  behavior on her periods. Don’t try saying something silly like “it’s because you are on your periods ” Sigh. Don’t hurt her. You are not a period pain.

It is not easy to see and clean blood  for at least 5 days every month.  It is not easy to walk with a tampon in between your legs and change it at least thrice a day. It is not easy to maintain an upright posture and keep smiling at customers while bleeding down South. It is not easy to wake up after every thirty minutes so that you don’t mess your boyfriends white sheets . It is never easy alighting at a bus station crossing fingers that you haven’t stained your clothes.

On such days ,dear men, is the time to practice that love, care and gentleness . Take her out. Watch movies together. Gently massage her back. Get her favorite snack . Whatever her cravings. Tolerate her moods I mean her hormonal situation won’t last forever.

Those tampons are almost over? Go Buy her some more.

She’s cramping so much that even waking up is a problem? Fix her breakfast.

Even on these days remind her how beautiful she is. Make her smile. If you love her on these special days,  she will  soon be clean doing her favorite chores:, filling your stomach and emptying your balls.

Ladies. You might consider doing yoga. It helps relax your muscles and improve blood supply to the pelvic area.

And Oh , I believe you have all had a pregnancy scare at least once in your lifetime. And no one wants that feeling again. So be careful. If abstinence to you is as useless as letter b in dumb, then  you might want to ensure that he wears a helmet on the proper head.  Remember you can avoid the pregnancy but be lucky enough to catch a disease.

*****remember the 9 minutes of pleasure could turn to be 9 months of pressure ****.

Be wise

Muthoni Wangari (Fei Sonik)

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One thought on “Time of the month [Guest Post]

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  1. Cramps are the worst!! But on the up side it’s better than pregnacy scares lol.
    Drinking ALOT of water helps too and if all else fails don’t kill yourself tryna be brave. Pop those painkillers

    Like

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