Combination of 23 Things I’ve Learnt and you should know about me as I turn 23

#1 Hard work doesn’t pay

Hard work is futile if you ask me. Working smart is the way to go. Picture this – a miner digging for gold randomly is working hard digging up earth but it will never pay. A miner on the other hand who does research and takes soil samples before digging for gold increases his chances of actually finding gold. So you tell me work hard or work smart?

#2 Happiness is relative

Here’s the thing I have realized so many times that I make some people happy. The sad part is they don’t make me happy. It’s sad when I have to disappoint and find happiness elsewhere. Maybe you can relate, maybe you can’t.

#3 I’m an asshole

I always put myself first. People have a problem with this but life handed me the short end of the stick so I do what I can to level it out. I have the exception of a few people close to me for who I break this rule for. But largely I am considered very selfish.

#4 It’s always never too late

Nothing is final not even death. There’s always the chance to salvage a situation. Excuses are just a way to say “never mind it’s not important”.

#5 Doesn’t matter where you put God if it’s not in His plan it won’t work out

Yes I said it. People will always tell you to put God first. They are right but here’s the thing. If it was not in his ultimate plan for you no matter how ahead you put him it won’t work out. But man was given free will so you can go against him anytime you like it’s all your choice.

#6 I get bored too fast

I don’t have an attention span I have an attention window. You can get in and keep my attention or you can have it shut in your face. I cannot stand bores, immature conversations and people who think they are better than me for god-knows reason. I also hate it if I have to carry the conversation on by myself.

#7 I’m impatient

I don’t mind waiting but I have a limit as to how long I can wait. If I was in the desert with the Israelites I’d have just started a desert resort and given up on the Promised Land. I value time and I keep it I have a better relationship with people who do the same.

#8 I’m sarcastic

Should I really explain this?

#9 I’m funny

Everyone likes a funny guy. So I became a funny guy.

#10 I’m sensitive

Beneath that thick skin is an emotional time bomb. I can take a joke and probably turn it against you. What I don’t like is realizing someone has been taking advantage of me or bulshitting me. I’ll lash out then withdraw. I’ll simply disappear from your life like morning mist does when the sun comes out.

#11 I mirror

This comes from the fact that I am socially awkward. So I tend to mirror actions. You know how they say when in Rome? If I interact with loud and outgoing people I’ll be equally as loud and outgoing. If you think I am silent and keeping to myself that’s not me that’s you. I always say hi back.

#12 I almost never intentionally hurt people

Remember #10. So yes when offended I will hurt you intentionally. I have it down to a science. Remember when you’re trying to convince yourself that I’m not getting to you I already got to you. Tissue? But anyway hurting people has never been my thing. When it happens it is unfortunate but such is life.

#13 I get angry

I smile a lot if you know me. But if all you have ever seen is the smile it’s time to accept that you’re really not close enough to make me angry. That’s right; strangers cannot change how I feel they are insignificant. I can sulk for days on end and cut off communication. But as sure as I smile I will always find ways to patch things up.

#14 I’m picky

If I don’t like something I don’t like it. Just because you like apples doesn’t mean I should like them as well. I am allowed to be picky because I should choose what goes in and out of my life. This way I have had to deal with less crap and any crap I dealt with was my doing.

#15 I have trust issues

Who doesn’t?

#16 I love music

Music sends me to another world. Why wouldn’t I love it when mine is all messed up?

#17 I’m overly attached to my phone

People always ask me why I am always online. Well, I am not. To me my phone is an extension of who I am. I am a writer and my phone has all the things I’ve ever written. It is a gold mine of information and unappreciated art. So of course it is going to be dear to me. I don’t let people touch my phone the same way you don’t lt people touch your toilet areas. It’s private.

#18 I don’t understand myself half the time

My thought pattern is random. One minute I could be thinking about eating ice cream on swing set listening to Yemi Alade sing about Johnny and the next I want to find and kill Johnny so that Yemi never stops looking for him. One minute I am watching cute cats on YouTube the next I am watching someone pour molten aluminum into an anthill. I don’t know why it just happens.

#19 I keep my word

Well, I try to. If I don’t I always find a way to make it up to the person.

#20 I say sorry way too often

I say sorry for too many things. I say sorry when you say sorry. I apologize when I step on you. I say sorry when the lights go out maybe I think I am to blame because I did not invent dependable electricity grids. But I Will laugh when you fall and say sorry for laughing.

#21 You can’t un-forget me

I make quite the impression. You can try but don’t bother. Where others leave foot prints I leave a hole.

#22 I have a eulogy pact

I don’t want to die and have someone that barely knew me say a bunch of random words to please or comfort a bunch of people. I want someone who has had history with me, someone that knows my flaws. Someone that will look the crowd and tell them “you know shady was an asshole but we loved him”

#23 I will never try too hard

I’m just 23 I’m too young to try and keep people around that clearly want to leave. Sometimes the effort is just not worth the load.